Randy Canales

Posts Tagged ‘Uncomfortable Feelings’

If your love affair ends against an individual’s wishes it leaves many uncomfortable feelings. Research into common feelings following loss show that there’s a fairly predictable pattern that will these emotions. Of course, all of us are different and the sequence of feelings may very well be different for you and indeed you may revisit a few of them more than once. But just knowing that they are common responses may be a comfort. You’re not alone or simply going crazy.

Initially, the first reaction can be shock, an inability to soak up what is being said. This shock will cause disbelief that the relationship has reached an end. We simply cannot soak up the enormity of what is happening.

Gradually as we begin to believe the situation anger sets during and we rage against that which is happening to us. This stage often last quite a lot time and can be mixed with the next stage – guilt. At this stage we believe that ‘If only I’d done that/if mainly I hadn’t done this… They would still love me’. And because none of us is perfect you can find something we can choose that will feel guilty about.

Then people begin bargaining, perhaps offering to behave differently if ever the loved one comes back that will us, or offering something to God if ever the situation is reversed. But if this fails you can easily sink into low moods, a depression which can last a bit before we gradually come out of it and accept that our life currently is changed and start to appearance forward.
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